Sorry if this applies to you but, I've always thought the kind of people who go out with deck chairs and sleeping bags on Black Friday eve, camping like tramps to get the latest Playstation, or to save £20 on a flat screen TV, are prats.
I mean. Come on guys. Really?
But I realised last week I should probably eat my words/thoughts...
Because, food junkie that I am, I'd set a timer, yes a timer, on my iPhone reminding me to hover over it at 7.55pm on a Saturday night, fingers at the ready to swiftly get my mitts on the latest Collaboration bar from The Chocolate Smiths. I am that person. Unapologetically. Unashamedly.
I won't queue for tech. But if I'm honest with myself, I will queue, patient Brit that I am, for anything delightful and exclusive I can shove in my gob.
I've been trying since last autumn to gorge myself on the filthy (in a good way) bars the family-run, Newcastle-upon-Tyne makes. But since Body Coach Joe Wicks gave them a shout out it's been nigh-on impossible. Until now.
So popular has The Chocolate Smiths become, that the owner's had to move to larger premises and expand her merry crew of 'Oompa Loompas' who, by all accounts (going by social media) look like the happiest workers on the planet. It must be the cocoa in the air.
It's now much easier to buy the burgeoning brand's Bizarre Bars (£4.99 each, made with Fairtrade chocolate that supports Cocoa Horizons) online...while the Collaboration bars are trickier. These are released four times a year, working with similarly small, passionate foodies, and usually come out in batches of 1,500, selling in minutes.
The bars have incorporated everything from macarons to cookies, to brownie cookie dough. Swoon.
And I was thrilled to see January's cracker of a bar has been made using Crevices from George's Bakery...who craft the most bonkers naughty-but-nice treats from their kitchen in St Ives, Cambridgeshire.
Unwrapping the chocolate masterpiece, I was like a kid on Christmas. They're not mucking around with this one folks. About 1ins or so thick, a coating of milk chocolate surrounded a huge wedge of crunchy cornflake slice, with pockets of caramel, dark chocolate topping and gooey white chocolate spread. The whole thing sprinkled with honeycomb.
I've hidden it from the family...naturally.
But I did share the signature Geordie Bar. The Chocolate Smiths' love letter to their city. Milk and white chocolate encasing soft caramel with a solid gold heart on the back - to eat, or give away to the one you love.
Then there was the Salted Caramel Brownie Bizarre Bar. I had found the Geordie Bar a bit sweet (I'm usually a dark chocolate gal) but the pinch of salt in the chocolate caramel filling of this one was bang on.
Also tried was the Bahama Bizarre Bar which is properly left field. Think foam banana flavoured white chocolate, stuffed with dark chocolate and rum caramel. A tot of rum on the side is a must.
The rest of the range, not special editions, includes:
99 Ice Cream Bizarre Bar: Milk chocolate with vanilla filling, raspberry sauce and waffle cone.
Banging Bizarre Bar: White chocolate with marshmallow, honeycomb and popping candy
Birthday Cake Bizarre Bar: White chocolate with shortbread, raspberry jam and sprinkles.
Caramel Apple Pie Bizarre Bar: Filled with real apple pie filling folded into caramel.
Mint Chocolate Chip Bizarre Bar: White chocolate with mint and chocolate chips.
Peanut Clutter Bizarre Bar: Milk chocolate with peanut butter, salted caramel and shortbread.
Try them now. I urge you. Follow The Chocolate Smiths on Instagram and order online.